Sufficient Courage

Today is a big day for me. I'm a writer at heart, have been since I could put together a sentence. Lately though, I've had many excuses for not writing. I spend my day thinking as a writer, wishing I could put my thoughts on paper...I think it's time I begin actually doing that! Maybe that's why I struggle with the two books I'm currently trying to write. I have so many different things come to mind that I have a hard time focusing on the one topic. I'll admit right up front that I have a short attention span. Probably the real problem is that I try to focus on way to many things at one time!

I've decided to call my blog "sufficient courage". The verse in Philippians gave me the idea (it's on my profile) but it has spurred in me so many different feelings. Courage is something I've kind of prided myself in since I was a child. Growing up a tomboy allowed me many opportunities to prove that I was courageous. Whether through playing sports or performing on stage, I was always pretty confident in my abilities.

Moving with my husband and our three kids overseas pushed me beyond my own abilities. Becoming a missionary had been my dream from the age of 5 so I felt confident that Hungary was the place for me, but the Hungarian language and culture was definitely outside of my comfort zone. I learned something wonderful during that time though...I am much happier and much more fulfilled when I no longer control the circumstances but I've surrendered it all to God. It's not as easy as that sounds, believe me, I know that first hand! Maybe sometime I'll delve into what I experienced over the 9 years in Hungary.

Coming back to the US took much more courage than going to Hungary. Sounds strange doesn't it? Going to Hungary was my dream, but I was coming back to the unknown. In the 3 1/2 years since we've been back I've been working on my courage. It's very frustrating to me to feel unsure, insecure, even a bit like a coward. I believe God's working with me to help me see who I am in Him and to have courage...not so much in my own abilities but in who He's made me to be...and to have sufficient courage to face this new life with boldness!